| o-ren-shi says it best. |
[27 Nov 2005|12:04am] |
As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!
I didn't think so.
*cracks herself up*
|
|
| Playabitchho |
[06 Sep 2005|05:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 high |
] |
I am not dead.
I was in Michigan for 3 weeks and then started teaching school immediately.
I hate catholic school. It really cramps my style.
To all my west coast playaz, Fred will come back to suck all of your dicks shortly.
Much love--xty
|
|
| motherfuckingpussbucket |
[23 Jul 2005|08:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 grumpy |
] |
i'm fucking grumpy. i don't know why, i just am.
and when i get grumpy? i want to killkillkill.
there's no reason to my grump. no voice of calm. she's so fucking cunt, this grumpass and she's the type that tells it like it is.
for example, i just called my boyfriend a lazy, good for nothing lump of lint. he knows the grump and so responded with, okay honey.
i told my grandmother that i wish my grandpa would hurry up and die. luckily. she feels the same way.
i got mad at my bath towel because it wouldn't come off the towel rack. i yelled at a bath towel.
you know you're being unreasonable when the imcompetency of a bath towel pisses you right the fuck off.
i don't know where this bitch in my head comes from.
and as shitty as she is? i kind of like her.
|
|
|
[19 Jul 2005|01:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mischievous |
] |
Hey fuckers.
Remember me?
|
|
| Worship Me. |
[25 Mar 2004|01:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Down on Me/ Janis Joplin |
] |
Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
| Apologies |
[23 Mar 2004|08:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Beautiful Face/ Flaming Lips |
] |
It's been a long time.
Just a little update to my beloved pals to let them know that I love them and I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth.
Overwhelming Things I am Currently Doing by Istykat:
1. I am rehearsing a play that opens in two weeks. I play a witch and I dyed my hair fire engine red. It's exhausting because I rehearse every night until 11:30 and then I get up at 6 to go and teach disgruntled catholic girls.
2. I am moving out of my apartment. I have to be out of here by the end of the week. Luckily, I'm just moving across the hall.
3. My divorce is in process and my lawyer is a buffoon.
4. I am in the middle of final exams at school which makes the disguntled catholic girls even more disgruntled. One more quarter to go and it's summer vacation, baby.
5. I'm a bit overwhelmed.
But I love you all and I miss all of you so much. This mommy will be back. I promise.
D---I hope Malfoy is treating you well and the cock hunt is still as much fun as it used to be. Is the ulcer better? I adore you.
M---I miss Remus and I miss you and I hope the sports hotties make you cream everytime you think of them.
P---I'm glad you saw some friends in SF and are writing. Mr. Ginsberg would be pleased no doubt.
Don't forget about me. I certainly haven't forgotten all of you.
Kisses.
|
|
| Fraidy Kat |
[21 Feb 2004|11:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Slits |
] |
So I'm getting a divorce. I've been married for 14 years this May. I've been married since I was 20. I'm very scared. I don't know how to live alone. I don't know really how to pay my bills. I don't even know if I have the resources to do it. Aside from all of that, I keep feeling like maybe I'm being an idiot and this isn't the thing to do. Nevermind that I've been grossly unhappy for the last 4 years. Nevermind that I rarely sleep with my husband. Nevermind that I've been so stifled and angry and disappointed that I wanted to chunk something large and heavy from my 3rd floor window just to watch it crash and break apart.
Anxiety is an understatement. Because ultimately, even more than I'm afraid of whether or not I can keep myself from living in a refrigerator box, I'm terrified that I'll be lonely. I'm overwhelmed with the fear that I'll end up old and alone and walking around the park talking to pigeons and pissing my trenchcoat.
And I still love that lazy fuck I've been married to for years. I suppose I always will.
He doesn't beat me.
He doesn't call me names.
He doesn't yell at me or fight with me over things that don't matter.
Instead, he lies around like a lump on the sofa.
I can't decide which is worse. Ending up 70 and looking back on my life and asking, why the fuck I stayed with him, or ending up 70 and looking back on my life and asking, why the fuck did I leave him?
And therein lies the rub.
|
|
| THINGS I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS by istykat |
[25 Dec 2003|02:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drunk |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tenacious D |
] |
1. A 2004 Emily the Strange Calendar
2. "Ghost World" the movie
3. POTC (and i will masturbate to that later)
4. A new bag with a big pink A on it
5. Lenore comics
6. Vintage stuff like old bowls and glasses from the 50's with gold flecks and painted on palm trees.
7. "PeeWee's Big Adventure"
8. $100.00
9. A new tiara
11. A gollum figure
12. A dirty toy. (It has a wolf and little red riding hood and the wolf has a huge cock and when you wind it up, it looks like he's doing LLRH from behind. :D)
10. Cramps
|
|
|
[14 Dec 2003|02:29pm] |
you are the "I hate you so bad" happy
bunny. You hate everyone and eveything and your
not ashamed of it.
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
| dave |
[14 Dec 2003|12:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
pixies--wave of mutilation |
] |
my friend donna's dad died. it's affected me. partly because i adore donna and i hate to see her in such pain, but it's also partly because i had hoped he would be my daddy too. donna and i have joked around that maybe we're sisters and the dad i've never known is actually her pops. i know that sounds silly and a childlike fantasy but there was this part of me, a tiny part yes, but a part nonetheless, that kind of hoped it could be true.
i've lived a great deal of my life making my own rules, my own family, my own memories. and what i mean is, when you come from crazy, hillbilly, whitetrash, sam shepard play, grew up in a goddamn trailerpark, dysfunction, you have a tendency to allow the self indulgent fantasy of creating your own sense of family. my mother is dead, my so called father is in prison, i have no contact with my family. (my real dad is someone i have never met. i don't even know his name. noone does. my mother got preggers when she was 15 and only after her death was i told that the dick i grew up with isn't my father. i was relieved. he's a pedophile. thank you gods for not letting that fucker's blood course through me.). so i create my own family. the possibilites are endless when you're an orphan. in some deep part of myself, i wanted donna's dad to be mine. partly because i just want to be related to donna but also because she has always spoken of her dad with great affection. dave sounds like he was a wonderful father. and i guess, i wanted him to be mine too. had i met him, i have no doubt he would have totally called me his kid, even if it was only a kindness meant to make me feel special. that's the kind of daddy dave sounds like he would have been.
so i'm sad. maybe it's because i'm an actor and my job is to create realities and fully invest my emotions into them. which i did with dave and donna and her mom. my heart is heavy. and though i know i can't possibly be as sad and lonely as donna and her mommy, i still feel it. there's this part of me that wants to get on a plane in january and go to dave's wake. and if donna said i could, i just might fucking do it.
dave, i didn't know you. i never heard your voice. you probably didn't even know who i was. but you're leaving this world has profoundly affected me. i mourn someone i never met. isn't it funny how things like that happen?
|
|
| A Shout Out |
[03 Dec 2003|04:29pm] |
|
Dis iss a shout out to my homeboy Dave. That figgua was a dukey muthuafucka and a brother banga and he wills be sorely missed. Aldoe I ain't nevuh mets him in persen, I knows from what Jiggy Char has tole me, and diss be the Cronkite, yo? Dave was a fly homeskillet shoulda than show and a true bruthuh and friendster. He weren't nevuh siamese or a trickass or a chicken head. He took reel good care of his fambly, providin plenty of cabbage and makin sho dey didn't nevuh have to be all up on the gubment cheese, Furilla ya'll, he was a phat diddy who was full uh love and kindnesses and they ain't no diggity bout dat. Everytime i makes up a gin and juice, I will poh sum on the ground fo my hommie Dave who went befo me. One love to the fly Hot Sauce King, ya'll.
|
|
|
[11 Nov 2003|09:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
You are Form 8, Demon: The Destroyer.
"And The Demon took advantage of the chaos and seized civillization. With grace and style, Demon slit The Goddess's belly and drowned the world in her blood. The Goddess, The Demon, and the world were no more." Some examples of the Demon Form are Seth (Egyptian) and The Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Christian). The Demon is associated with the concept of destruction, the number 8, and the element of earth. His sign is the full moon. As a member of Form 8, you are a very strong willed individual. You don't let others' opinions sway your own and you're usually not afraid to speak your mind. However, some may see you as a bit overly passionate but it's just because you never back down from your values. No matter what, you always do everything with style. Demons are the best friends to have because they will back you up.
|
|
| waaaaa |
[09 Nov 2003|10:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
i'm tired.
very very tired.
i have no time for the things that are really important to me like im-ing my pals and role playing. instead i'm acting in shows and directing plays and being a teacher. phooey on real life.
i prefer the pretend one anyday.
|
|
| Why I hate cold weather by me: |
[23 Oct 2003|04:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Neutral Milk Hotel |
] |
1. My lips get so chapped that I bleed like a fucking crack whore who has sucked entirely too much dick and has run out of carmex.
2. Even though my ass remains fat, my fingers shrink and with a flick of my wrinkled, cracked hands, my rings fly off. I almost blinded an old lady on the train one time when my wedding ring flew off of my hand and hit her on the chin.
3. I have to wear big bulky sweaters and I swear to god, I end up looking like Natalie from the "Facts of Life". Not an attractive look.
4. I want to sleep all the time. I want to lie in bed in my flannel pajamas and eat creamy soups. Sometimes I have this fantasy that I do nothing but lie in bed and eat and I grow as mammoth as Gilbert Grape's mother and then I die and my husband has to burn down our apartment building just to save my dignity.
5. People are bitter. Everyone hates the cold and they take it out on eachother. Like one time, I fell on a slab of black ice when I was walking to the train, and at least 4 people walked by me laughing and shaking their heads. Nevermind that I had cracked my tailbone and broken my pinkie from the fall, I guess it was just so damn funny that no one could stop to help me up. Fuckers.
I just hate cold weather. Especially where I live because it lasts for like 8 months out of the year and it's oppressive and evil and invariably I have to up my anti-depressant so I don't go and try to suffocate myself in an 18 foot drift of snow.
I should move to Florida. And I would if it weren't for all of the diaper wearing old people. Florida smells like powder and mothballs and piss. I guess snow is better than that.
|
|
| Sneezeorific |
[21 Oct 2003|12:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
I want to rip out my sinuses with a pair of needle nose pliars.
I have allergies. And I have them BAD.
Things I am allergic to by me:
*Cats (and I live with two of them)
*Dogs (and I live with one of them)
*Dust (and I don't dust because it makes me sneeze so there's a coating of fur on every surface of my house. I NEED A FUCKING MAID BUT WHO CAN AFFORD THAT?)
*Grass and flowers and dirt and trees and leaves and anything that has to do with nature. And I'm convinced I have an allergy to lettuce because I hate it. I also say I'm allergic to onions because they gross me out and eating anything onion riddled makes me want to vomit large quantites of stomach contents.
*I might be allergic to stupidty. I'm pretty sure I am. I seem to have an adverse reaction to all things retarded and dumb most especially people.
*I'm also positive that I must be allergic to bigots and homophobes. My grandfather is one and just to be near him makes me feel really sick.
I wish there were a pill I could take to get rid of my allergies. I haven't found one. Maybe I just need a pill to get rid of all of the things I'm allergic too. If there were a pill that would make my Klu Klux Klan robe wearing grandfather disappear for all of eternity, I would pop the entire bottle ala Marilyn Monroe style.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
istykat's journal
